Your dad needs someone to help him out throughout the week. He fell and broke his hip, so he’s going to need help with housekeeping, personal care, ambulation, meals, and transportation for several weeks or possibly months.
Your family has talked about your options, and one of the things that’s been brought up is having family caregivers help out until he’s mobile again. Before you make any final decisions, consider these points.
Your Dad May Not Like Having to Rely on You
If you’re the one caring for your dad, he may not like having your help. He may argue and refuse to cooperate. It’s not that he wants to be difficult, but it can be embarrassing having to rely on your child for things like bathing, dressing, and grooming.
You need to have an honest conversation about this. If he needs help with toileting and oral care, who would he prefer to rely on?
Caregiving Can Be Isolating
As you drop everything to care for your dad, you can run out of time for everything and everyone else. You need to make sure that doesn’t happen, or you risk loneliness and isolation. Take time each week to visit friends or attend social events.
Your Finances Can Take a Hit
If you’re not bringing in income while caring for your dad, your finances can take a hit. Even if he pays you, it’s unlikely to be as much as you were making elsewhere, and you’re missing out on benefits like healthcare and 401k.
Many family caregivers find themselves also covering some of their parents’ expenses. If your dad has to choose between his groceries or prescription pills, you’ll cover the expense, but that will impact your finances over time, so you need to come up with a better plan.
He May Not Improve By the Time FMLA Is Up
In most states, you get 12 weeks of FMLA (family leave) without pay if you have worked for a company for at least a year and have worked enough hours in that time. To get paid, you may need to cash in vacation days, personal time, and sick days.
Twelve weeks is about three months, which may not be enough time following a hip fracture. Your job is only protected for those three months. After that, you have to go back to work or you could lose your job.
Some people just do not have the time or energy to offer as much help as their parent needs. It’s okay to admit that you can’t find a way to balance your dad’s care needs following his stroke. If you try to do it anyway, you risk becoming overwhelmed, which can impact your mental and physical health.
If you can’t do it, don’t feel ashamed. It takes a strong person to realize that elder care services are the better option. Talk to an elder care specialist to schedule caregiver visits that cover your dad’s care needs.
If you or an aging loved-one is considering Elder Care in Verona, WI please contact the caring staff at Agape Senior Services Madison today. (608) 841-1004
